Sometimes when I joke, I joke of that which I actually mean. It is something that secretly I wish for, but because it sounds so incredulous to the superficial observers, it turns into a joke. I laugh along their laughter and further wring out humor from the twisted idea. And even though everyone sees it as a joke, I quietly revel in the thought. Often I am tempted to repeat the joke once more, only with less jocoseness, or to not bring it to its expected end; to perform that affirming laugh of incredulity; so that people will know that it is no joke but a hitherto well-hidden truth. How I wish to announce the truth! But alas, such thoughts must be kept private. Otherwise, who knows which slip of tongue or act of mischief may compromise the entire operation, turn sour the flourishing shoot; insofar that no fruit may ever be borne.