The uproarious activities

You must know by now, all of you, that I have a tendency to avert these uproarious activities. It is simply not in my nature to enjoy them. I far more prefer the quiet; the empty corridors, the sleepy pavilion, the breezy balustrade.. But in as much as I am discomforted by the activities, I do not oppose to your participating in them; I know how much it means to you, and what incredible joy you find in it. So I try, I try to sit by the sides and quietly observe, or if my head begins to hurt, I turn away to fiddle with some more soothing thought. But there are times when the on-goings become unbearable and I have to exit the room. And when I return, the emotions have already settled. My friends, could I not have felt slightly ashamed at having sat out the entire thing? – at having excluded myself from that circle of joy, wherein all of you had sung in exultant voices and tears welled in your eyes. Such a treasured moment, a common ecliptic experience, and I was absent. I do not know how to feel about all this, but only march over them, indifferent; a forced and tedious indifference.

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