To P., an apology

You must understand the mechanisms of my mind. They work in the strangest fashions. I can be extremely amicable, but also palpably callous. The former is my natural state. The latter, however, comes when I am dissatisfied, or discomforted, by circumstances. I stop thinking and my instincts take over. Every trivial affair is exaggerated and emotions turn into towering, overpowering behemoths. I run for cover. And to where do I run? Anywhere. For since I have stopped thinking, I am blind. Fond ties may be jeopardized, but how could a non-thinking person realize or care for it? They are fleeing for cover and that is the only concern. Their visions are tunnels. Thus if you should ever meet with this uncharacteristic callousness of mine, I ask that you consider the circumstances and understand the nasty habits which they awaken in me. And I apologize, sincerely, for any distress caused by my actions – I have never intended to forgo friendships.

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