To think that I dared suppose myself a matured rationalist, who could view through objective, unfaltering lenses, everything that happens and thence react to them in best possible manner. I forget that after all, I am still only human – easily swept away by the tides of emotion. In times of tranquility, reason may place its weight upon me and hold me back from careless, ruinous actions. And I very erroneously presume that it shall continue to press its weight upon me even in times of distress. Clearly, and this I realize too late, the force of the emotional tides far exceeds the gallant heft of reason. In a single surge, it sweeps away all sense of reason. So either I am not yet a master of myself, or I am to forever babble about some regret, some misplaced words that truly are not mine, but my careless, callous heart.