I alone am kept from the truth

Told my uncle of my intention to study philosophy; he instinctively responded by saying what an interesting course it is. I assume he only said that out of politeness. What really came to his mind upon hearing those words, and which he expressed after that little dallying of politeness, was “what are you going to do with a degree in philosophy?” So he asked me: “what are you studying philosophy with – I mean, surely, it isn’t studied alone?” I wanted to tell him the truth; that I was indeed planning on studying philosophy alone, notwithstanding, of course, all the other modules scattered on the sidewalks of other subjects. But the manner in which he asked – rhetorically, convincingly, as if it were common knowledge that philosophy cannot be studied alone, for all its impractical pursuits – kept me from speaking the truth. How baffled he would be to learn it. And so I lied to him: “Yeah, I’m maybe taking economics along with it.” But perhaps that is becoming less of a lie. I am beginning to distance myself from the idea of studying philosophy. Too many sentiments are pushing me away from it. It feels as if the whole world knows the truth -that a study of philosophy is foolish – and I alone know nothing; or maybe I have been deceiving myself, conjuring dreamy images of ever finding a profitable position with a lexicon of philosophical theories.


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