Goodnight

I feel like I’m doing so little with my life. I look around me and I see everyone else becoming great; becoming the person they have always wanted to be. Listen here, someone’s project has just been shortlisted for an award. Or over there, he’s trying to decide if he wants to work for this prestigious bank or that prestigious bank. And then there’s that other else, forging ahead with poetry and novels of her own – oh, what tormenting jealousy must I endure before that glory too is mine. Someone once told me the difference between envy and jealousy. Envy is a want of something, while jealously is a fear of losing something. It is certainly not a mistake that I have said jealousy and not envy. But what have I that I fear to lose? Only a hollow pride. It might as well be dirt flattened on a sole. I should really get to doing something; elevate my worth somehow. It is difficult to live knowing that one is worth so little. And even more when one realizes how indifferent this world is to his dreams.

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