Everything is dust

Do you ever have those days where nothing you do feels to be of any worth? Just a while ago, I passed a test which I have been studying for the past week. I passed a similar test the previous week, and felt an incredible wave of relief and joy; but today, just now, I felt nothing. It happened and it didn’t seem to matter at all. So in the same way is everything drowned in this voluminous indifference. I thought to buy myself a new pair of shoes, a brown pair, because the one I have now is quite torn up; and I also thought how nicely a brown pair would match my trousers. But tonight, nothing mattered. I couldn’t care less about the shoes I buy. Nothing really matters. As a friend keeps repeating to me, and perhaps it has somehow sunk into my soul: For you are dust, and to dust you shall return. But of course, I am not just yet willing to give up my existence.

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