Caught in dream state just now. Couldn’t escape it no matter how hard I tried to wake myself. I heard mother call me from downstairs, and then she must have gone to the midway of the stairs and took a peek at me sleeping on the couch, before going back down. I could sense everything. Then later on, I felt my dog jump on to that little space at my feet and I tried to bump her off; but I couldn’t. And when finally I woke up, I found that she was not there. Neither was mother in the house.
Today, I should have made history. But instead, I decided that I would not succeed, or otherwise, chance would have its back turned towards me, and the sole condition for success would not have even materialized.
In the afternoon, right after a philosophy class which I really detest – not because I don’t like the subject, but because it always makes me feel so stupid – I didn’t feel like talking to anyone. I joined a couple of friends for lunch, and I just felt incredibly bored. I don’t know what I was thinking either, but all I did was eat my food and stare into the kinetic mass of life. That was probably why I told everyone I would not be going for tonight’s meeting. I just didn’t feel like speaking to anyone for the day. But neither did I want to be all alone.
A friend had given me for my birthday a really nice book. His birthday was three weeks ago, and I did nothing for him other than wish him well. I also asked him out for tennis, and during supper, treated him to a measly bowl of ‘Chendol’. This reminds me; I still have that card to make. I have neither thought of what I want to say, nor of what picture to use. This has always been the problem – I never know what to write in those such cards. Maybe I just don’t have a lot of things to say about other people.