So you recall everything that happened that night?
I do. The memory has never left me. And each time I see you, and we smile at each other, I am always reminded of that night where we were both perched on the balustrade, commenting about the pictures on my phone.
I remember with fondness the hearty manner in which you laughed that night. It all felt to me like a dream. I should have told you then, should I not have? What a difference it might have made to both our lives. Things wouldn’t have to be so hard on you right now.
But do you suppose it’s the right thing to do? People will obviously say that it’s very cruel of me to do such a thing; but if I don’t do it, we both will remain forever unhappy. And perhaps, at a later time, I might just have enough of all the pretend, and break it apart anyway. Might as well snip it at the bud while the plant has not yet developed.
Well, I suppose it would be a really nasty thing to do. And I feel even more guilty for having instigated you into this conversation and re-igniting a withering flame…
Don’t say that. Like I said, those feelings which I developed for you had never left me. They were always somewhere in me, just kept behind the present thoughts. But on some nights, after I’d seen you in the day, even though we don’t exchange any words, I deliberately revive that memory just to feel its pleasantness again. I too wished that that night had gone on forever. Perhaps I should’ve said a word as well. I don’t know what it was that kept me from doing so.
Neither do I. But let’s not regret the past. It’s no use trying to bring back lost time. You know, till now, I have never figured out what it is about you, that mysterious hidden charm, that keeps drawing me in. I was attracted to you from the beginning and I am still attracted to you now, if not more deeply than before. Even those times where I had gone months without a thought of you, somehow you’d show up in my dreams. Just like yesterday, where all of sudden you appeared before me. And when you were going to leave, I felt a deep sense of longing for your company. I suppose it was a reminder of how much I still like you.
I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll tell him tomorrow – I’ll tell him that things aren’t working out and we’ll just have to part and –
But wouldn’t that be too abrupt. Surely, he’ll suspect something amiss, and he’ll go looking for those reasons; all the while being disgruntled and upset. I know this because something similar happened to me before. There was a girl I loved dearly and one day she just came to tell me that she wanted to focus on other parts of her life and so needed some space of her own. I pleaded of course, for I loved her very much. But, alas, to no use. A month later, I learnt that she was with a new man. What was so confounding a month ago immediately came to light.
That’s terrible. I would nev-