I think I’ve always kept it at the back of my mind; so usually, even when something happens, and it threatens to take him away, I am unnaturally calm; I am unperturbed. But like I said, I only keep it at the back of my mind; at any moment, it can wash up to the front and I’ll realise what is really happening – my brother is going to die, and I am never going to see him again. I look at the mouse that’s been left on the table. It has gathered dust over its surface. I remember how excited he was when we first bought it for him. It’s a special mouse that lights up when plugged in. These are the sort of things that force up the truth; the agonising truth that we try to keep buried beneath the waves.

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